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Dear Mom and Dad
When you held that little girl in your arms for the first time, this is not what you imagined. I’m sorry. I’m sorry that you never really got to play house with your little girl. I’m sorry you never saw me marching through the house in heels too big for me. I’m sorry dress up always included Dad’s button down shirts and never Mom’s pretty dresses. I’m sorry that Sunday mornings were always a battle of wills: “Put on a dress for church! NO, I’m wearing pants!” I’m sorry you never got to shop for prom dresses. I’m sorry you will never get to walk me down the aisle Dad. Mom, I’m sorry we will never get to go shopping for that wedding dress. I’m sorry that I am so private about my personal life because I always assume you don’t want to hear about it. I’m sorry I don’t confide in you enough about things that are going on around me. I’m sorry I don’t feel I can always share with you the exciting things that are happening to me for fear of judgement. I’m sorry that I cut you out of parts of my life that are so very important to me when I know that you truly do care. I’m sorry that my “actions” condone that special look of revulsion when I trip up and tell you about my life.
On the flip side, thank you for always being there for me when I need you most. You are the most amazing parents anyone could hope to have. You love unconditionally and unabashedly even when you don’t always agree or understand. You’ve taught me to love and love fiercely. Your example throughout my life guides me to be a person that cares for others. Your willingness to go the extra mile for those you love and those who need help has entrenched itself in my psyche making me a better person for it. Your faith throughout my lifetime has inspired me and kept me afloat when otherwise it would have crumbled. It is because of you that I can claim (somewhat successfully) to be a competent, well adjusted individual of continually growing faith. All the while accepting and embracing being gay in such a small southern environment. It is because of you that I have an insatiable drive to read and learn. To gather all forms of knowledge whether religiously motivated or worldly. You have taught me to respect those around me but to also question effectively in order to make myself a better person. Because of you I strive day in and day out to be better, to grow, to learn, and to make you proud. I cannot say thank you enough. I am lucky to have you and our family is better off knowing that we have you in our corner. You can never be replaced. I love you, always and through everything.